As I sit in my apartment I began to think about the last 25 years of my life the first thing that came to mind was a basketball game. This 1st quarter I came out ready to play, energetic and optimistic about what I would I do! I knew I had the skill set to win thanks to parents who supported me and always made sure I wanted for nothing and my determination was at an all time high. The quarter started off great, I had all these dreams, goals and visions of what my life would be like and I was heading towards them with full force, I was winning, I was on fire and ready to take on the world. At some point during this quarter, my momentum started to give out, my energy level just wasn’t what it was in those first few minutes of the quarter, in my mind I was losing. Why did I think I was losing? I’m glad you asked. In my mind I had this idea of what the 1st quarter would be like. I would have attended my dream college, in this quarter I’d have a vibrant career and be able to travel the world, in this quarter I’d be married with at least one child, in this quarter I’d be all I ever saw myself being. But that wasn’t the case, this quarter had me questioning Why? What? When? Where? I questioned God, I ranted to Him (oh did I rant!) I called myself debating with Him and even at times thinking I knew what was better for my life as if He didn’t already know everything that would occur before I was even in my mothers womb back in 1989. I wasn’t feeling the way my life was going, people close to me knew this on a surface level, but underneath all of that I felt like a failure. I felt like I was letting everyone around me down and not living up to my potential and worst of all I felt like I had let myself down. I essentially just wanted to say forget everything and not put any effort into anything anymore. So here I was nearing the end of the first quarter with all the zeal I started with nowhere to be found.
On Turning 26: A Birthday Post
But then a commercial to mark the momentary break in the game before the next quarter.
During the break I strengthened my relationship with God, I thought about my life and what I wanted and what God wanted for it and made vision boards, I built great friendships and met some amazing people. The break was a time for me to refocus, reflect on what made me lose my momentum and prepare myself to move forward! The break allowed me to learn about me and what makes me happy. I got amped again, but you want to know the difference this time? I wasn’t trying to do it all by myself! I had a coach (Holy Spirit) guiding me, counseling, me comforting me and showing me what my future would look like. I didn’t try and continue ordering my own steps but allow Him to order them. Then after I surrendered all, I was refreshed, refueled and ready to head back to the court!
So as I prepare to lace my shoes back up, drink a cup of Gatorade and begin the 2nd quarter I’m excited! I’m excited because I know that even though everything won’t always be perfect and I don’t always have the answers or may not know what’s next, I’m confident that all things are working for my good! I’m looking forward to what this 2nd quarter will bring and I’m walking into it with happiness in my heart and a smile on my face!
Happy 26th Birthday to Me!