Tag Archives: encourage

It Was Him All Along

It Was Him All Along

My Heavenly Father courts me, He has courted me from the beginning even as I continued to give my attention, my mind, my body, my soul to people who did not deserve it. He pursued me relentlessly. I didn’t recognize Him, I shut Him out, gave Him the cold shoulder, but all the while He pursued me and finally I realized it was Him that I was looking for. He was the one who loves me unconditionally despite all my mistakes, my flaws and my shortcomings. I was not an option for Christ, He willingly chose me, He chose to love me, to save me, to give His life for me! No love on this earth can compare to His! Why you ask? His love is unfailing, His love is consistent. His love is true. His love gives life. His love gives strength. His love comforts. His love is not based on feelings, its unconditional! There is no greater feeling than being covered in His love and knowing that He is persistently pursuing me.
How has God pursued you?

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On Turning 26: A Birthday Post

As I sit in my apartment I began to think about the last 25 years of my life the first thing that came to mind was a basketball game. This 1st quarter I came out ready to play, energetic and optimistic about what I would I do! I knew I had the skill set to win thanks to parents who supported me and always made sure I wanted for nothing and my determination was at an all time high. The quarter started off great, I had all these dreams, goals and visions of what my life would be like and I was heading towards them with full force, I was winning, I was on fire and ready to take on the world. At some point during this quarter, my momentum started to give out, my energy level just wasn’t what it was in those first few minutes of the quarter, in my mind I was losing. Why did I think I was losing? I’m glad you asked. In my mind I had this idea of what the 1st quarter would be like. I would have attended my dream college, in this quarter I’d have a vibrant career and be able to travel the world, in this quarter I’d be married with at least one child, in this quarter I’d be all I ever saw myself being. But that wasn’t the case, this quarter had me questioning Why? What? When? Where? I questioned God, I ranted to Him (oh did I rant!) I called myself debating with Him and even at times thinking I knew what was better for my life as if He didn’t already know everything that would occur before I was even in my mothers womb back in 1989. I wasn’t feeling the way my life was going, people close to me knew this on a surface level, but underneath all of that I felt like a failure. I felt like I was letting everyone around me down and not living up to my potential and worst of all I felt like I had let myself down. I essentially just wanted to say forget everything and not put any effort into anything anymore. So here I was nearing the end of the first quarter with all the zeal I started with nowhere to be found.

But then a commercial to mark the momentary break in the game before the next quarter.

During the break I strengthened my relationship with God, I thought about my life and what I wanted and what God wanted for it and made vision boards, I built great friendships and met some amazing people. The break was a time for me to refocus, reflect on what made me lose my momentum and prepare myself to move forward! The break allowed me to learn about me and what makes me happy. I got amped again, but you want to know the difference this time? I wasn’t trying to do it all by myself! I had a coach (Holy Spirit) guiding me, counseling, me comforting me and showing me what my future would look like. I didn’t try and continue ordering my own steps but allow Him to order them. Then after I surrendered all, I was refreshed, refueled and ready to head back to the court! 

So as I prepare to lace my shoes back up, drink a cup of Gatorade and begin the 2nd quarter I’m excited! I’m excited because I know that even though everything won’t always be perfect and I don’t always have the answers or may not know what’s next, I’m confident that all things are working for my good! I’m looking forward to what this 2nd quarter will bring and I’m walking into it with happiness in my heart and a smile on my face! 
Happy 26th Birthday to Me! 
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While They Can Still Smell Them…(Roses)


Everyday we wake up, we go through our routines. We go to school, go to work, drive around hang out with friends, and more likely than not we receive text messages from friends. Often we are so busy and caught up in our day that we forget to respond to the person, or decide that a response can wait.

On Saturday October 1,2011 I received a text from a good friend of three years that read:

“ I really like you, I want to get to know you more and possibly pursue a relationship.”

We talked to each other often and saw each other throughout the week while at work or just on campus. I read this message and was surprised by it because this entire time I had no clue that he had felt this way, I needed time to think about how I wanted to respond to that because I had never really thought about it and I didn’t want to ruin a good friendship if things didn’t work out. Sunday passed, Monday passed, and on Tuesday October 4, 2011, I received a text message from my cousin that my friend suddenly died playing basketball at the campus recreation center. I thought “ No way, he just wrote me the other day and I saw him driving around campus in the security van. I went onto his facebook and saw all the wall post ‘R.I.P’ was plastered on his wall over and over again. Immediately my heart sunk to the floor, so many things ran through my head “How did he die?” “He was so young” “I never got to respond to him”.

That night as I tossed and turned in my bed I wrote him back, I knew he would never see it but I wrote him back to tell him exactly how I felt and I never really knew how much I cared about him until he wasn’t around anymore. During the first week after he passed I was a complete emotional wreck. It was hard going to work because that was the last place I saw him in person, and every time a campus security car rides into the parking lot near my job, I longed for him to step out of it and walk across the lot and into my office with a smile on his face.

He had such a kind spirit, he left a great impression with all those he came in contact with. I remember a particular post written about him that will stick with me forever “He was taken away from us by the very thing we all loved him for- an enlarged heart.”  He had such a great impact on my life and even though only for a short while I am glad to have known him, call him a friend and to have shared the memories that we did. There will never be a day that goes by that I won’t think of him.

I shared this particular story to encourage you not to wait until someone is gone before you express how you feel about them or what you think about them. If someone is a great friend, tell them. If you love someone, tell them. If you think someone is a great role model, tell them. If you think your parents are amazing, tell them. There is nothing wrong with being honest about what you feel. Don’t take advantage of the fact that someone is here and you have time to tell them this or that. Tell them right now, while they can still smell the roses.

For Shane 1990-2011

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